Saturday, January 2, 2010

Dear Elijah,


Please forgive us.

Know that we struggled with the decision to let the doctors remove your feet for years before the time arrived for the surgery. The weeks before, we mourned the loss. Your dad and I have cried together. We prayed for another answer. We begged. We received clear guidance that this course is the one for you.

I will miss your feet, Eli.

I love to squeeze the fatty area on top of your foot. I love to hold your toes and feel them wiggle within my hand. I love to watch you use your precious feet to grasp your best pal, Clifford the dog. I love to see you use your feet to maneuver yourself wherever you want to go. I love to kiss your feet.

I will miss them with the depth of my being, Eli. I am sorry they must go.

Tomorrow, we will begin this journey. My prayer for you immediately is that it won't hurt and that you won't miss your feet. I pray you don't remember Jan. 5 when your feet disappeared.

I want you to know that thousands of people will be praying for you in this coming week, Eli. They too will pray that you won't remember, that you won't miss your feet and that you will feel no pain, my precious son.

I promise I will be there by your side, hiding my tears from you. I will wait for your emphatic answer to "are you okay" to once again be "yay."

You will survive this, Eli, and you will come out on the other side thriving. You will run through our back yard playing and it will be worth it.

This is the first time in your life that we've been forced to take something from you. As wrong as it feels, your dad and I know it is the best option for your bright future.

We love you, Eli. Everyone reading this blog loves you.

Here's to your future...a future of walking...and running.

Your loving momma,
Melissa

14 comments:

Hewett Happenings said...

Dear Melissa, David, Sophia and Eil,

I am crying with you reading this. Your post brings back memories from five years ago when we went down the same road with our Hannah. I remember a few nights before, making the footprints and plaster print of her precious feet. I remember the agonizing trip to the hospital that morning. I remember sitting in the waiting room, waiting for her name to be called to go back to pre-op. I remember taking the last pictures of her little feet and legs just a short time before they took her back. I remember that first glimpse of her in the bed in recovery with the big bandages on her legs. That was an overwhealming moment when the nurses pulled back the blanket to show me. Yes, those memories are VERY difficult, but just know you are doing the best that you know how for him. You will look back on these times, and wonder "what if". What if we hadn't made the decision to remove his feet? Would he be walking? Would he be frustrated at not being able to be as mobile as he wants to be? Would he be asking us why we didn't make that decision for him?

Hannah is realizing now that we DID make the best decision, made with lots of prayers and love, for her. She knows that her legs didn't and would never work right. She knows that she would have never been able to walk unassisted. She knows that she would not have the independence she has today.

I won't be there physically, but be assured I will be there with you in spirit. Praying for a safe trip, easy surgery and quick recovery. Eli is a tough little man, and has an AMAZING future in front of him.

Love you!!

The Hewetts

Hewett Happenings said...

Also, if you need to talk, please don't hesitate to call me.

918-207-9519

Lu said...

Melissa and David,

We are praying for you all. What day and time is the surgery?

Brett Royal said...

Love you guys!

Jerry said...

Dear David and Melissa,
I know that we haven't written much to you all, but I want you to know that from the day I found out about your precious Elijah, I have been praying for you and your family. I've laughed with you with accomplishments and now I cry with you for this loss to Eli. But, you have sought God's direction, and cannot argue with His direction. God Bless you and know that our prayers too will be with you. Our love, Jerry and Kathy McCarley

Ryan said...

Dear David and Melissa,
As I read this message, I sit here in tears, praying for the both of you in the decisions that you are making. I pray for strength, for wisdom, for grace for the upcoming surgery. Your lives are a testimony to all of us. May our Lord Jesus Christ bring you peace during this time.
Christie and Ryan McCullah

Anonymous said...

Melissa:
Leveta here again.Please know that your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.May you feel the Lord's presence so strongly through this entire time that it will be like the poem "Footprints on the Sand"---knowing that He is carrying all of you through this.
Leveta

Stephanie Betts said...

Praying for you guys right now!

Tessa Sholar Barrett said...

I am praying for you...

Luci said...

David and Melissa,

I am praying for you and so is my family and friends. I pray for strength and comfort and peace for you both. I pray for eli Before and during and after the surgery. This little guy has touched my heart in a special way thank you for sharing his story and know that many people are praying for your family as you face this and most of all God is with you all.

Love Lucinda

Deborah said...

many prayers for your sweet boy!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Please know we love you all and will be praying hard for the entire family tonight, tomorrow and the days to follow.

Stephanie, Charley and the kiddos

Angela Stevens said...

We are still praying for you all. Your family will get through this being carried by God the whole way.

We love you all,

Nathan and Angela Stevens

Amberghini said...

OH, man! I can't even see to type right now! Wow! Praying for you always! I'm going to run home at lunch and check for any updates! xo!