As I was helping the nurses change Elijah's diaper a few minutes ago, I had my first real opportunity to hold his new legs in my hands. In that instant, I felt a blessed release from the apprehension and slight depression I've been feeling ever since we amputated his feet earlier this year. Back then, I had the sense that we'd been conquered somehow, that Elijah had lost an important battle so that he could eventually win the war. Well, the war is won. His new legs don't just look good, they look VICTORIOUS. His grandpa Ken said he looks taller and longer, just like any other three-year-old. I was too fatigued to register the concept at the time, but now, I couldn't agree more.
How to describe what I'm feeling? It's like opening a package on Christmas, and instead of finding socks or cleaning supplies, or even the toy you asked for, it's the most thoughtful, most appropriate gift you've ever seen. The gratitude is so profound you're reluctant to say thank you because the words fall short. It's odd to be sitting here at the Shriner's hospital, pushing Elijah's pain medication button and fussing over his slightly high tempurature, but feeling something other than sadness. There's this joy in me that I plan on carrying with me over the next few months as all the players in Eli's sphere work almost as hard as he does to get him UP and walking. God's always had a plan for Elijah's life, but sometimes I didn't feel like I could see it. And tonight, I do. So there it is.
We've got a couple more sleepless night ahead of us, and there will definitely be some discomfort as Eli recovers from this very difficult surgery. KEEP PRAYING!